I was scrolling through LinkedIn, where corporate backslapping masquerades as insight, when a Kiwibank post featuring one of its economists appeared.

Nothing unusual there. But something in the photograph caught my eye. Pinned to the jacket, below the green Kiwibank badge, was a second badge. It was a colourful geometric creation that looked as though someone had emptied a corporate diversity workshop onto a lapel.

So I looked it up. Down the rabbit hole I went. It turns out Kiwibank has created its own Pride symbol, called Te Kahukura Kāpuia, or The Multicoloured Collective.

Of course it has.

According to Kiwibank, the symbol was developed by its Pride Network alongside its Brand and Marketing teams. It represents the bank’s commitment to its Rainbow community and an inclusive workplace.

The design combines the 11 colours of the Progress Pride flag with Kiwibank green in a harakeke inspired motif. This was apparently important enough to involve people from across the organisation in designing, discussing, approving and distributing it. At some point, meetings were held. Calendars were blocked.

Someone probably used the word “journey.”

Eventually, a New Zealand bank emerged with its very own Pride badge.

Kiwibank says everyone at the bank wears Te Kahukura Kāpuia “with pride” and that new employees receive one in their induction pack on their first day.

I would like to know whether “everyone” actually means everyone. Can an employee politely decline? Can somebody support equal treatment for gay and transgender people while deciding they do not want to advertise a corporate position on their clothing? Kiwibank’s public material does not make that clear.

The distinction matters because there is something wonderfully contradictory about an organisation preaching diversity while expecting everybody to display the same symbol. Real diversity includes diversity of thought. Real tolerance includes tolerating people who do not feel the need to advertise their tolerance.

Real inclusion surely includes the employee who wants to turn up, do an excellent job, treat everybody respectfully and go home without participating in corporate social theatre.

Follow the trail far enough and you find the professional bullshit industry behind the badge: people who spend their days attending pointless HR conferences, then rush to LinkedIn to congratulate themselves for having turned up.

Once upon a time, an employer could simply say that it did not matter whether someone was gay, straight, male or female. If they were good at their job and treated others properly, they were welcome. Apparently, that was so unsophisticated.

The more complicated you make equal treatment, the more people you can employ to design frameworks, lead programmes and explain the different layers supposedly making up individual employees, and take everyone on a journey.

But forgive me for asking the question. What does any of this have to do with banking? Kiwibank is a bank. People entrust it with their money. They want competitive mortgages, decent interest rates, fraud detected and problems resolved.

They would probably also like somebody to answer the phone.

I struggle to imagine many customers walking into a branch hoping their mortgage application will be processed by somebody whose lapel communicates a position on “intersectionality.”

Most people are uncomplicated. They want to be treated properly. Gay customers deserve that. Transgender customers deserve that. Straight customers deserve that. Every customer deserves that. You do not need a badge to accomplish it.

What irritates me about this kind of corporate performance is that it turns basic human decency into self congratulatory branding. If you respect gay people, respect them. If you oppose discrimination, do not discriminate. If you want an inclusive workplace, hire good people from every background and treat them fairly.

Decency is demonstrated through behaviour, not merchandise. In 2026, accepting that gay people deserve the same dignity as everybody else is not revolutionary. It is the baseline expectation of any civilised workplace.

So congratulations, Kiwibank. You do not dislike gay people. Neither do millions of other New Zealanders.

We just manage it without pinning a certificate of moral virtue to our jackets.